"took a nap a while ago, and I had the most vivid dream possible. I had graduated Med school, apparently was top of my class and on top of that, I was named a top 10 DJ/Producer when my name was called. As I walked to the front of the stage, the whole room went empty. So quiet that it felt as I was screaming yet just breathing normally and not a single person was there. I just stared blankly in to the space. As soon as I leave to the side, and get off stage, everyone is back and cheering on the person called after me. Don’t know why, but this really got to me. I feel a huge weight in my heart (literally) since this afternoon. I don’t know what to do anymore. I stopped caring a long time ago, and I guess this dream just made it worse for me. I guess this reminds me of the time when I was still in New Jersey, had a performance of some kind, and no family or friends were there to see it. But the dream looked so real, and normally I can’t even remember my dreams, even if I did have any that night. I’m used to doing things on my own, not having that notion of being able to count on someone for whatever reason, so why is this such an impact for me?
